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The Magnificent Ferengi
' |image= |series= |production=40510-534 |producer(s)= |story= |script=Ira Steven Behr and Hans Beimler |director=Chip Chalmers |imdbref=tt0708628 |guests=Jeffrey Combs as Brunt, Aron Eisenberg as Nog, Max Grodénchik as Rom, Chase Masterson as Leeta, '''Cecily Adams as '''Ishka, Hamilton Camp as Leck, Josh Pais as Gaila, Christopher Shea as Keevan and Iggy Pop as Yelgrun |previous_production=Statistical Probabilities |next_production=Waltz |episode=DS9 S06E10 |airdate=17 December 1997 |previous_release=(DS9) Statistical Probabilities (Overall) Mortal Coil |next_release=Waltz |story_date(s)=Unknown |group="N"}} (2374) |previous_story= Concerning Flight |next_story= Waltz }} Summary Quark proudly announces that he has obtained syrup of squill. Odo thinks that means the drought is over on Balancar—but it turns out that there was never a drought, it was a story to allow the stockpiling of squill to drive the price up. But Quark heard that a prominent person on Balancar ordered a pair of Ferengi rain slippers, which he wouldn’t need if there was a drought. So Quark ordered several cases at a cheaper price, threatening to expose the scheme to the entire quadrant if they didn’t. (Of course, he just exposed it to the entire bar…) Everyone’s thrilled with this story, right up until Dax, Bashir, and O’Brien walk in, having just returned from a dangerous mission on the Defiant. Quark is cranky because Starfleet just stole his audience. Then he gets a call from Zek: Ishka has been taken prisoner by the Dominion while en route to Vulcan to get her ears raised. The grand nagus wants Quark to rescue her, and he’ll reward him with 50 bars of latinum. Quark recruits Rom to help for half the latinum, minus Quark’s 20% finder’s fee, of course. (Quark also explains to Rom about Zek and Ishka’s affair, and her unofficial role as his chief economic advisor, which Rom has a bit of trouble dealing with.) They need a team to help rescue her. Said team will be told that the nagus is giving them 20 bars, and it will be split “evenly” among them, leaving the remaining 30 to be split between Quark and Rom. However, Quark insists that the team only be Ferengi, that they can be just as tough as Klingons or Breen or Nausicaans. Rom is dubious, but goes along. Their first recruit is Nog, who actually has military training as a Starfleet officer. Next is Leck, a mercenary who isn’t interested in latinum, but loves a challenge, and is in it for the chance to go up against the Dominion. Then they recruit Gaila, who is destitute after the events of Business as Usual, and in prison for vagrancy. Gaila initially threatens vengeance on Quark for ruining him, but changes his tune once Quark pays his fine to free him and gives him a chance to earn some latinum. Nog starts their training, but it doesn’t go particularly smoothly, made worse when they discover that Quark doesn’t have a ship that will get them to where they’re holding Ishka. They’re then interrupted by Brunt. He’s been fired from the FCA, and he wants to sign up (he figures rescuing Ishka will put him back in Zek’s good graces). Nobody wants him on the team, but he does have a ship, so they reluctantly let him join. Unfortunately, Nog’s practice runs of rescuing Ishka go spectacularly badly. Quark and Rom can’t hit the broad side of a barn, Gaila throws up his hands, screams like a little girl, and runs away, Brunt surrenders, and Leck shoots Ishka (figuring they couldn’t rescue her, so he put her out of her misery). Quark and Rom realize they need a Plan B: they need to do what Ferengi do best, which is negotiate. There is to be a prisoner exchange. Sisko and Kira agree to hand over Keevan to Quark to offer the Dominion in return for Ishka. Quark still takes the whole team, as he doesn’t trust the Dominion, and the exchange is happening on Empok Nor—Quark’s choice, as they know the layout, since it has the same design as DS9 (and Nog has been there before). They set up base camp in the infirmary, arriving before the Dominion does. Keevan reveals that he’s not all that thrilled to be returned home, as he failed to follow the directive that all Vorta commit suicide when captured. To that end, Keevan escapes while being guarded by Gaila (who fell asleep), but they get him back just as the Dominion shows up. A Vorta named Yelgrun has arrived with a platoon of Jem’Hadar—and also Ishka. Keevan tries to convince them to escape before they’re all killed, but Quark refuses to give in. He, Nog, and Rom go to the Promenade to negotiate while the others keep an eye on Keevan in the infirmary. Quark’s terms are simple: all but two of the Jem’Hadar leave the station and their ship departs at warp nine. This will leave Yelgrun stranded for a few days, but it’s enough to guarantee the Ferengi’s safety after the exchange. Yelgrun points out that he can just have his Jem’Hadar storm the infirmary, but then Keevan will be killed without revealing what Dominion secrets he might have told the Federation. Yelgrun agrees to the terms. The Ferengi are all celebratory until Rom accidentally reveals that the reward is 50 bars, not 20. An argument ensues, culminating in Gaila firing his rifle—but he shoots Keevan instead of Quark, killing the Vorta. Luckily, they’re in the infirmary, which still has some working medical equipment. Nog attempts to revive Keevan with neural stimulators, which fails—but an impulse causes Keevan’s arm to flail. This gives Nog the idea of making it look like Keevan’s alive by copious use of neural stimulators up and down his body. The prisoner exchange happens outside the airlock where Brunt’s ship is docked. Nog manages to walk Keevan down the corridor, which works fine until Keevan walks into a bulkhead. But once Ishka is safe, Leck and Rom kill the two Jem’Hadar while Brunt and Gaila take Yelgrun prisoner. Quark figures they can turn Yelgrun over to Starfleet. (“They gave us a Vorta, we’ll give them a Vorta.”) Unfortunately, the neural stimulator signal is jammed, so even as the Ferengi and the Vorta depart the station, Keevan is still walking into the bulkhead over and over again…. Errors and Explanations Nit Central # Corey Hines on Monday, December 14, 1998 - 12:03 pm: Let me clear up some of the comments I made regarding Kevan from Rocks and Shoals and Treachery, Faith and the Great River. This episode established that Vorta are supposed to commit suicide when captured. Treachery, Faith and the Great River shows that all Vorta have and implant that when activated will cause death. This episode also states that captured Vorta will go through an "unpleasent" debriefing when returned to the Dominion. From this I would assume torture. With Kevan dreading his returning to the Dominion, one would think he would welcome a quick death and activate his implant. Unless there was a problem with the implant. # Corey Hines on Monday, December 21, 1998 - 5:08 pm: I'm still puzzled why Kevan doesn't use his telekenitic abilities to escape. Actually, Eris is the only Vorta that we've seen use that power. Did the Vorta somehow lose this ability? Lea Frost on Monday, January 18, 1999 - 11:14 pm: Corey -- apparently only certain Vorta have telekinetic abilities, or so Ron Moore says. Keevan obviously didn't have them... # Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, May 01, 1999 - 5:44 am: Quark and Rom, wandering through the station's corridors, accidentally open an access hatch to Captain Sisko's office. Wasn't this station built by Cardassians and wasn't this office meant to be used by whichever Gul had been given command of the station? Why would the Cardassians build a station with an access hatch into the office sure to be occupied by the commanding Gul? Also if this hatch has been there this whole time, then why didn't we see any Cardassian or Jem'Hadar guards stationed around it when the Dominion controlled the station? It may have been intended to serve as an escape route for whoever was in charge, in the event of access to Ops being blocked. # If this is supposed to be a Ferengi operation, then why is Nog wearing his Starfleet uniform? Shouldn't he wear Ferengi style clothes so the Dominion won't think it is a Federation trap? dotter31 on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 6:46 am: Starfleet is involved in the operation(they provided the prisoner) Even if they weren't, does that make a difference? The Federation is at war with the Dominion, so almost any encounter should result in the assumption that it is a trap by the other side. Yelgrun probably suspected a trap,(be it Federation or Ferengi) he did bring dozens of soldiers. # Timmer on Thursday, January 06, 2000 - 3:37 pm: It seems strange that Ferengi doktors can't handle a little thing like raising lobes.....It may be regarded as a violation of tradition! Notes Category:Episodes Category:Deep Space Nine